First and foremost, I should say that I was a little hesitant to ask a doctor about weed, because I feel like I’m ratting on myself, but I’m willing to try anything at this point. I’m no pothead, but I dabble in the doobies from time to time — heck, I’m more of a drinker if I’m being honest. Who doesn’t love a Citywide Special to wrap up a stressful work day?
I guess I’ll cut to the chase…my company’s annual drug testing is next week, and let’s just say I had a “special brownie” at the John Mayer concert last month — though I may feel regrets now, it was a hell of an experience. But hear me out, doc: it was just ONE pot brownie!
Am I totally screwed? I know that stuff can stay in your system for a lot longer than you’d think; I’ve been doing some mental math, but I still can’t tell if I’ll fail this test or not. Is this one little pre-game snack going to show up on my results?
Sincerely,
No Regrets, Except This One
Hey, at least you’re being honest… that’s something any doctor would be proud of! Let’s get real: if you’re not a heavy user, a THC edible should leave your system in a matter of days, but that time frame can be different for everyone — each of us have unique metabolisms that deal with cannabis differently.
Here are some important questions to ponder as you prepare for the drug testing: how much of this brownie did I eat? What kind of effects did I feel and how long did they last? If you feel like you consumed a large amount, then it might not leave your system as quickly as if you had just eaten a nibble.
Also here’s a pro tip: a hair follicle drug test is significantly more accurate (and goes further back) than a urine or saliva test. If you know what method they’ll be using, that could help you determine how worried you should really be. A good place to start is to drink a lot of liquids! This includes the likes of good ‘ol H2O, cranberry juice, and green tea. They all have known diuretics that’ll make you pee frequently before you have to take the test.
Once your hydration game is in full swing start tallying how many times you’re peeing in a day — the more, the better! I also recommend that you exercise frequently throughout the week, or head to a sauna. If you get those sweat glands moving (to accompany your bladder) the toxins will get flushed out of your system even faster. Good luck, and next time just stick to regular old desserts — they’re just as tasty!
Sincerely,
You’re Going To Be Peeing A Lot
FIND YOUR VYBE
